Lucky
by MouseCadet
Summary: After Noodle is raped, she doesn't know what to do, or who to turn to. Phase 4, Oneshot. Platonic Noodle x Murdoc.


**TRIGGER WARNING- Rape mention. Reader discretion advised.**

Two days. 48 hours. 2880 minutes since it happened. She should've known better than to walk home alone at night in that part of town, but it was a short cut and she was so tired. The bruises were horrific, some of them almost black. Noodle had never felt this way before, she had never felt so disgusted, so dirty, so... empty. They didn't kill her, she's lucky to be alive. That's what she's been telling herself over and over. "I'm lucky, I'm lucky, I'm lucky!" Sometimes she can just almost convince herself that, that she's fine. But she isn't fine, and she knows it. Noodle hasn't left her room in the past two days, and her band mates are beginning to worry. Poor 2D, he doesn't understand why she won't come out to play video games with him or watch zombie movies. She wants to, she really does but she just can't. Noodle feels as though the second she leaves her room they will all know, everyone will know and she will be so utterly humiliated, she couldn't bear it. She's already humiliated, she already can't bear it, but at least no one else knows. And besides, if any of the boys did find out they would want to her to go to the police, and that just was not an option. She would rather not be blamed for her own rape more than she was already blaming herself.

It was Tuesday, that meant that 2D and Russel would be at work, and she was pretty sure Murdoc had plans early in the day too. That meant it was safe to leave her room, at least for a few hours right? While Noodle wasn't keen on the idea, it seemed her stomach didn't care about her emotions and she knew she needed to eat. She slowly cracked open her door, sneaking her way down the stairs and into the kitchen. With none of the boys in sight, she thanked god and began pouring a bowl of cereal, not bothering to even check if they had milk. She was lucky, they did have milk. She was lucky, she was lucky, she was lucky. Noodle quickly shook those thoughts away, gasping loudly when she saw a green man watching her from the kitchen doorway. How long had he been there? She looked like shit and she knew it, she hadn't slept the past few nights and she didn't want to hear his comments on her disheveled appearance.

"Mornin' luv, haven't seen you in a few days",Murdoc said, jokingly but almost gently, as if he was worried he would scare her. "Morning",She whispered, almost inaudibly as she attempted to quickly dart past him and up the stairs. Murdoc chuckled and softly grabbed her arm. "Woah there, I hope you aren't-" He stopped mid sentence when he saw the large and extreme bruise that his touch had revealed just under her sleeve. "Eh, wot the 'ell is that!", Murdoc yelled, clearly worried for the young girl. "Nothing!', Noodle said, ripping her arm from his grip. 'I fell down the stairs is all."  
"Yea and I suppose you've been locked up in your room 'cus of that too huh? And no bruise from the bloody stairs looks like that Noodle Jesus!" There it was again. The humiliation began to creep back up, as if it had ever really left. She couldn't let him know, she couldn't let anyone know! "I'm telling you Murdoc it's nothing okay I'm fine!", She yelled, attempting to pull herself from his grip. Murdoc let her go, choosing to place his arms on her shoulders instead. "Luv", He said in a tone that Noodle hadn't heard him use since she was a young child. "If something' happened to ya, you can tell me. It's okay."

Noodle closed her eyes, her embarrassment making it impossible to look him in the eyes. She was fine! She was lucky! She was okay! But there they were all over again, and she couldn't breathe and she couldn't scream and she could feel the knife against her throat as they forced themselves on her. She could hear them telling her how good she was being, and how pretty she was when she cried. She could feel it all over again and it was all too much! "Murdoc..", She whispered, finally looking at him as the first of her tears began to fall. Murdoc quickly pulled the small girl into a hug, something he had probably done only a few times in his life. He shushed her and rubbed her back as she cried, telling her that it was okay and she was safe now. Murdoc didn't think he was very good at this comforting thing, but Noodle's sobs had slowed to mere sniffles so he had to have done something right.

"Sweetheart, tell me what happened", He said, gently running a hand through her hair. He had a terrible feeling he knew already, but was praying to Satan that he was wrong. "They raped me", Noodle said, almost choking on her words as her tears began to fall all over again. Murdoc closed his eyes tightly, his grip on her tightening a bit. "Who?" "I don't kn-know, some guys when I was walking home the other night. They j-just attacked me and I couldn't get away, and they wouldn't stop Murdoc they said they were going to kill me." Noodle bit back sobs, attempting to not seem to weak, but she was. How could she let this happen to herself, she was so stupid she should never have gone that way! "Noodle sweetheart it's gonna be okay, they're gone now and it's over. It will never happen again I won't let it.", Murdoc said, rubbing her back and cursing himself for not going with her to the store that night.

"Please don't tell 2D or Russ, please Murdoc I don't want them to know!", She begged, looking at him with desperation. "Don't worry luv, I won't tell anyone.", Murdoc assured, smiling at her sadly. "But honey ya can't just hole yourself up in your room like that, that's no way to recover from this." "I know, I know I'm sorry I just didn't know what else to do, I feel so humiliated.", Noodle said, sniffling as her crying began to lessen. "Don't feel that way, none of this was your fault okay none of it! There was no way you could've known this would happen!", He sighed. "Have you gone to the police?" "Oh god no", She said, "And I don't intend to so please don't ask me to." Murdoc lifted them off of the floor where they had slid during her breakdown, brushing her off and walking away briefly to retrieve one of the blankets she had loved as a child off of the couch. "It's your decision Noodle, I'm not going to make you do anything", He said, wrapping the blanket around her shoulders. Noodle smiled softly at the gesture, leading him over to the couch where she curled up next to him. "Thank you", She said, allowing him to put an arm around her as she turned the Tv on. "Sorry for my little breakdown" "Murdoc chuckled. "Y'know Noodle I think I would've had a breakdown too, you're fine luv."

They stayed like that for a few hours, cuddled up on the couch watching their favorite shows. At some point Murdoc had gotten up to make hot chocolate, which Noodle was grateful for. She was distracted, and while it would take a while to feel okay, for right now it was nice. "Hey kiddo, Y'know I love you right?" "Wait what? Do I need to clean my ears or something!?", Noodle joked, earning a playful slap from the bassist. "I know, I love you too" Murdoc smiled, "If you tell anyone that I tell you that I'll kill you, I have a reputation to keep up!" "Yea yea", She laughed, laying her head down on his shoulder. She decided that she was right, she really was lucky.

 **Fin. Reviews welcome, good or bad. Also I'm just getting back into the swing of writing so I apologize if it's not the best. Thanks for reading.**


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